Vacation Mensa

The exodus has befallen us. Like cranes in autumn, students have packed up their stuff and migrated to greener pastures. They have become prey to the allure of cheap flights to tropical paradises, or enticed by the nostalgia of the warm embrace of long-time not-seen family. To the few of us left, it is a harsh time to keep a minimal semblance of normality, as there is nothing natural about the uni campus in September. Like a playing ground without children or a library without books, what is a university without students? Then again, nobody is even here to experience and define what it is that remains. If a tree falls down in the forest and nobody hears it, did it really fall?

Here, I have presented some pseudo-philosophical questions you ask yourself as you wander the hallways alone when all your friends have left town. After getting lost in your thoughts for a while, you regather and remember it is not that bad to still be here: It even has its benefits! And I do love one characteristic of the summerly empty university: no queue at Mensa!

I am profoundly impatient when it comes to queueing; it irritates me as few other things do. Therefore, I cannot describe the happiness I feel when I am able to already be devouring a Schnitzel only five minutes after arriving at the canteen. A blessing! Furthermore, as a professional lazypants, it is incredible to have a wide variety of prepared food available, even during vacation. Seems almost too good to be true: at school, you either had the menu of the day or hungered until going back home. And don’t get me started on the odious concoctions and stews I prepared as a teen, when my parents weren’t home during the vacations. So you tell me I can eat at the canteen even when there are no classes? And I even get to choose between different food options? Rejoice!

One thing left to say. For all the Mensa haters out there, remember: Beggars can’t be choosers. Do you really expect a Filet Mignon, Caviar, and Champagne every lunch in a place that must feed thousands a day, whilst maintaining food affordable? It is unrealistic. Love Mensa for what it is. Cheap, reliable food: Studentenfutter. Saving time by not cooking, whilst not spending too much money in any of the overpriced restaurants near the uni. If one day the student bowl at 0.33 EUR per 100g has not been ordered, that means I am no longer alive. For I do not need anything else to survive the day, or the week. Just god save me from the weekend, where Mensa is closed and I have to cook for myself!